:: Lots of Loads ::

Well, speaking of which, there's a saying goes.. don't cry over a spilt milk. But, did I told you guys I spilt my breastmilk onto my laptop? That cost me RM400 for repairs and the warranty went ka-poffss. Pftttt. Oh man, that's my new laptop. 

So I cry, cry and cry!

What a clumsy mama!

As usual..my time is fully occupied!

PhD - work hard so that I can finish writing my proposal. Well.. yeah. It's a never ending story. Kept telling myself, nothing is perfect. Nobody's perfect. After all, it's just a proposal. Whoever expect it to be purrrfect is crazy! Hmm. Just to ease myself. 

I purposely put the above picture because I thot I was cute in that pix. No. Kidding. It's Kak Ani's birthday and Prof. Willie brought us to Jusco Bukit Indah for lunch treats! Happy birthday Dr. Mahani! She's like my own sister as I ain't got one. She gave me lots of motivations since her previous PhD study was all about women studies- experience and journey through PhD pursuit. Interesting topic, indeed.. Tajuk macam common, kan.. but when I read her masterpiece. Ok fine. Thats why she got her PhD and I am still crawling.


I have little close friends at work. I think.. most of us, we are too busy with our own teaching and research business. Apetah lagi bila dah cutibelajar ni.. pergi UTM, masuk office room. Kunci pintu, bukak econ. Bukak tudung segala.. buat macam rumah sendiri. 9am-7pm. My heavenly crib.


That explains I am away from my kids for almost 10 hours everyday. Pengorbanan, I did it for my loved ones. So far, weekend I just stay at home. Laptop pun tinggal kat office. So weekdays memang jadual penuhhh. Dah takde dah lalali tamplon sesuka hati. 

 My precious!

Make sure dah wangi dan kenyang, baru mama hantar rumah nenek Limah. Budak-budak ni..breakfast roti ke biskut pun ok je.. But I won't take this for granted. TAK SEMPAT is an excuses when you failed to manage your time. I pon kekadang tak sempat jugak. Tapi bukan tiap-tiap hari tak sempat. Kalau tak sempat buat bubur atau pasta ke untuk bekal anak-anak I felt really disappointed. Mesti apologize kat acik, sorry Nad tak sempat masak pagi ni. Acik tu masak je.. tapi sendiri rasa macam tak best bila tak bekalkan dengan 'air tangan' sendiri.


Everyday, is a new start and I tried my best so far. 

Kids - Life is great. anak-anak sihat, cergas dan cerdas. Alhamdulillah. A friend of mine who's expecting her second baby told me

"aku tengok ko relaks je jaga dua orang anak. ko yang uruskan semua, kan? anak-anak ko macam senang je nak jaga."

Haha. Alhamdulillah.. I senyum je dalam hati. It never gets easier, but it gets better. Of course. Husband pon banyak tolong. He's developing his own homeskills so I won't ask for more.. Cukup sekadar tolong bukakkan pintu gate, tolong buangkan sampah, every morning tolong makan breakfast yang I buat (eheh) walaupon kekadang breakfast nasik goreng compliment dengan air kosong sejuk dari peti ais. Nih kes tak dannn nak masak air, dua-dua budak comel dah bangun pulokkk. Nak kene settlekan mandikan diri sendiri, Delisha and Amirul (nasib baik daddynye pandai mandi sendiri. agagaga)..


Pastu.. settlekan mende lain pulak..banyak la beg nye pulak yang nak disiapkan, kan. Siapkan breakfast, susu dua botol supaya tak meragam dalam kereta. Beg susu, beg baju, beg pump, beg laptop, hand bag lagi. Tuh belum lagi kalau I bawak bekal sendiri. Berbondong-bondong katanye. Dah siap wangi-wangi segala, barang semua dah standby depan pintu, tepat pukul 8 Thomas and Friends bersiaran. So panggilan yang ditunggu-tunggu oleh anak-anak.


"Siapa nak susu, angkat tangannnn??"


Haha. Pastu mama pun diserbu macam ikan piranha kelaparan.



Dah kenyang dan relax, baru ajak masuk kereta.. start enjin.. keluarkan kereta. Berenti jap depan rumah. Turun kereta tutup gate pulak.. I pernahlah MALAS sangat nak tutup gate sebab rase lagi senang, pantas dan tuntas kalau dah start masuk gear tu terus je la blahhh. Memang takleh blah kan. 


Pastu makcik sebelah rumah tegur.. kenapa tak tutup pagar kauuu. I jawab la tak sempat.. balik pon dah malam, leceh nak bukak-bukak gate sebab dah gelap. Ada dua orang budak pulak dalam kereta pulak tu.. Makcik tu jawab..nanti makcik tolong tutupkan. 


Ai seganlah pulak. Terus tutup. See, tak pk la pulak pasal takut orang pecah rumah ke hapa. Huhu. Sometimes bila kita nak yang mudah, kita saja buat-buat lupa benda yang penting.


Pastu.. dah tukar kereta yang luas sikit pon budak 2 orang ni menyentel kat seat depan. Dengan bantal kecik sana-sini. Semakkkk. Huhu. Stressnye bawak kereta hari-hari. Tapi diorang ni kalau ajak main tepuk tangan ke zikir ke die anggap macam nyanyi lagu jugak, happy jela mereka. Yang tak tahan kalau tengah meragam. Nak pakai kasutla, amikkan itu, amikkan ini, etc.. Dah tangannye ada dua je pon. Tu pon nak kene pegang stereng. Kalau heavy traffic, maunye 45 minit dok dalam kereta dengan diorang.. Hmm. Kalau bakar kek, siap kek sebiji dalam oven! Begitulah panasnye kepala ni. Hehe. But I can say I am a cool mom. Delisha, biasela.. She's still adjusting her life as 'kakak'. Kejap-kejap dia rasa dia sayang adik. Kejap, die rasa adik is such a threat for her. Kejap die sayang, kejap die cepuk. Have to wisely handle the situation. Like, kalau nyanyi lagu BAA BAA Black Sheep tu. 

The first part kena nyanyi Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? Yes, sir. Yes, sir . Three bags full. One for my master, one for my dame.. and one for my little DELISHA who lives down the lane..

The second part, nyanyi lagi. Untuk adik pulak. 

Have to address BOTH ok. Haha. Being a mom, kena adil. 

Biasanye keluar rumah dalam pukul 8.30..sampai rumah acik Limah dalam pukul 9 lebih.. borak2 jap ngan acik, let them mingle with the others, sayam-sayam, muah-muah, babai-babai salam tangan mama.. Ajak Delisha kiss antara celah-celah pintu grill umah Acik tu hehe. kiut!


Like my friend, Nana said. The first few hours of our life is memenatkan.. Lelah. Struggling to catch up with the pace. Sampai je ofis baru lah nak warming up, bukak laptop, familiarkan mata dengan Mendeley semula, sambil otak ligat memikirkan semalam PAUSE kat bahagian mana.. it ain't easy! I am determined to submit by end of this year. Then tunggu defense then collect data. Nak siap cepat! My early intention is that, I nak siap cepat.. The target is that less than 6 months before my study leave ends, I want to stay at home with my kids. Semoga ada jalannya.. Inshaallah.

Eventhough rasa penat setiap hari tapi rasa puas sebab dapat tengok diorang membesar depan mata. Walaupon tiap hari duduk rumah Acik, I don't think they lack of attention and love from us as parents. I cook, I bathe them, and yes.. BREASTFEEDING is the most wonderful gift Allah has ever gave to me cause that's our bonding time. Time nyusukan both of them, satu tangan pegang tangan kakak, satu tangan lagi pegang tangan adik. Sweet, kan. Indah. Walaupon kekadang mama rasa mama yang bau peluh dan masammmm. Korang berdua dah wangi-wangi dah sebab nenek Limah dah siap mandikan. K lah.. It's 6.58 pm already. Time is up. Nak balik ambil buah hati.  :))))

 She's so cute mama could die!

 Amirul sayang yang dah besar!

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